Continuing our theme of increasing consciousness on the spiritual journey, this paper focuses on making good decisions through discernment.
Throughout our lives, we are inevitably faced with a small number of really significant decisions. Leaving home, getting married, buying a home, choosing a vocation, starting a business, changing jobs and retiring from work are some examples of really significant decisions. As humans, the methodology we use to make these decisions will vary from person to person. Indeed, in many cases, there may be no methodology at all. A sound discernment process can be helpful, particularly where choices of a spiritual nature are concerned.
Discernment defined
Discernment describes a wise way of choosing between alternative options, or a particularly perceptive way of seeing things. If you can understand something that's somewhat hidden or obscure — if you figure out the themes of a confusing movie, for example — you're using discernment. In the case of judgement, discernment can be psychological, moral, or aesthetic in nature. Discernment has also been defined in these contexts:
Scientific (discerning what is true about the real world),
Normative (discerning value including what ought to be), and
Formal (deductive reasoning).
The process of discernment, within judgment, involves going past the mere perception of something and making nuanced judgments about its properties or qualities. Discernment in the Christian religion is considered a virtue; a discerning individual is considered to possess wisdom, and be of good judgement; especially so with regard to subject matter often overlooked by others.
During my business career, I was exposed to formal methodologies that were primarily aimed at careful planning and problem solving. While useful in a business environment, these methodologies do not easily translate to decisions of a spiritual nature. Fortunately, this difficulty was addressed by St Ignatius of Loyola, whose advice to his colleagues about discernment has been passed down through the ages by the Jesuits.
This paper is inspired by Mark E Thibodeaux’s instructive book, “God's Voice Within: The Ignatian Way to Discover God's Will”. The book outlines the Jesuit approach to discernment.
Why is discernment important?
Discernment is crucial in spirituality for several reasons:
Clarity of Path: It helps individuals navigate their spiritual journeys by distinguishing between genuine teachings and misleading ones, ensuring they follow a path that resonates with their values and beliefs.
Personal Growth: Discernment encourages self-reflection and critical thinking, allowing individuals to evaluate their experiences and beliefs, fostering deeper understanding and growth.
Avoiding Manipulation: In a world with many spiritual influences, discernment protects against exploitation or misguided practices, helping individuals recognize authenticity.
Integration of Experiences: It enables individuals to integrate their spiritual experiences meaningfully, assessing what aligns with their personal truth and overall well-being.
Connection to Intuition: Discernment enhances one’s ability to listen to inner guidance and intuition, leading to more aligned decisions and actions in life.
In essence, the objective of discernment is to ascertain what God wants for us in the belief that God always wants the best for us. Thomas Merton’s prayer sums this up neatly.
"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself and the fact that I think I’m following your will does not mean that I’m actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore, I will trust you always. Though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."
Personal mission statement
The foundation for effective discernment is the personal mission statement. Thibodeaux writes:
“The mission statement—or, in Ignatian language, the principle and foundation—is the essential grounding of an organization’s, or a person’s, meaning and activity”[1]
A mission statement sets out in clear terms a person’s values and self-awareness from which operating principles and behaviour derive. A mission statement sets down the purpose of who one is; it examines one’s role in the larger context of God’s action in the world. Only after one has grounded oneself in that greater purpose will one be ready to weigh inclinations, thoughts, desires, and so on.
Fortunately for me, I was encouraged by Stephen Covey[2] to write a personal mission statement in 1993. This short document, which I have amended from time to time, enabled me to quickly apply Ignatian discernment to my decision making.
Steps in the discernment Process
Spiritual discernment is distinct from secular types of discernment because every decision is to be made in accordance with God's will. In considering the difference between secular discernment and spiritual discernment, it seems to me that the discerning person “bookends” the process with prayer and a request for guidance from the Holy Spirit. Guidance is sought at the beginning and end of the process.
In his book, Thibodeaux gives detailed attention to each of the stages in Ignatian discernment[3]. I have summarised these into seven steps as follows:
Step 1 Pray for guidance.
Commence the process by seeking guidance. Place the issue, problem or required decision before God and ask that the process you follow in analysing and determining a way forward will be sound and inspired by God.
Step 2 Get quiet.
It is important to take time to embrace silence. This helps to remove, or at least minimise, the daily distractions of your busy life and allows you to focus your full attention on the decision process. It also leaves you open to hear God speaking to you (remember that the prophet Elijah found God in the silence)[4]. A meditation practice can be very helpful with this step.
Step 3 Gather data.
Read your personal mission statement to provide a foundation for this step. Go to the basic questions and ask them as though they have never been asked before. What’s the problem or situation I’m dealing with here? What are the options? Weigh the pros and cons. Consider the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats of each option. Who are all the people involved? Begin stream-of-consciousness journaling.
Step 4 Dream dreams.
Use your right brain to imagine the future. What might the future look like? Examine the options; amend them; combine features from different options to create new ones. What is option C? option D? option Q? Ask yourself “At the end of life, what do I want to look back upon?” Continue with your stream-of consciousness journaling.
Step 5 Ponder the dreams.
As you dream crazy dreams, begin to ponder those dreams. Thibodeaux suggests: “As I daydream - or better, praydream - the possibilities of living out my great desires in each option, I try to note the difference in my heart as Ignatius did when comparing his dreams of chivalry with his dreams of religious life. I ask myself, “which of these dreams leave me dry and sad, despite my best efforts to create a dream of great possibility? In which dreams have I found pleasure that lingers, even long after the dream ends?”[5] As you ponder the dreams, meditate over relevant scripture passages. You could also ask how you would mentor someone else in your situation.
Step 6 Make the decision.
Read your personal mission statement again. Is your stream of consciousness aligned with your mission statement? Grow into your decision. Accept that at this stage, it is a tentative decision.
Step 7 Pray for guidance.
Ignatius says that after the decision has been made, “offer” the decision to God so that God “may accept and confirm it, if it is for His greater service”. The implications of these few words are strong. If it is not conducive to God’s greater service, then God presumably will not confirm the offering of the tentative decision. Clearly, then, even though you may have made a thorough and well-reflected decision in Step 6, you are not quite finished with Ignatian discernment. Ignatius knows what a tricky process discernment can be, and he provides one last opportunity for God to throw you off your horse if you’re not quite going in the right direction.[6]
So, just as you observed the inner movements within you as dreamed and pondered the dreams, you now observe the inner movements as you praydream these new dreams of pledging yourself to the choice, eliminating the other choices, and of realistically dealing with the fallout of your choice[7].
Another way to seek confirmation is to notice how easily or how laboriously the doors open as you move toward the option tentatively chosen. This is what Ignatius meant by tranquility. Usually, if it is of God, you won’t have to force your way in. God typically smooths the path and removes the obstacles when you are stepping in the right direction.[8] In the end, then, what matters is not so much what happens in the exterior but what interior movements are stirred in the midst of these exterior circumstances.[9]
Some helpful comments[10]
The degree of thoroughness within a discernment process depends upon the gravity of the decision and upon the time allotted to make the decision.
As you set out to live your commitment, it would be completely natural for you to have buyer’s remorse.
Waiting for confirmation does not mean waiting until you have certainty before you act.
You must have faith that God really will ensure a good outcome from any sincere choice of yours.
What is crucial, however, is that at any given moment, you choose that which you believe to be God’s will.
A Final Thought
We all have different personalities and varied tolerances for ambiguity. I am an extrovert and inclined to be impulsive. Consequently, I found this advice from acclaimed Jesuit priest and mystic, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, particularly helpful:
“Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new. And yet, it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability, and that it may take a very long time. And so, I think it is with you. Your ideas mature gradually. Let them grow, let them shape themselves, without undue haste. Don’t try to force them on, as though you could be today what time (that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will) will make of you tomorrow. Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be. Give Our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you. And accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.”[11]
Questions for reflection
What processes have you used in the past to make important decisions?
Were there any suggestions in the paper that you liked and feel impelled to use in future?
Can you identify circumstances in your life when you were confident that the Holy Spirit was guiding you?
[1] God's Voice Within: The Ignatian Way to Discover God's Will, Mark E Thibodeaux, p.133
[2] The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey, 1990
[3] God's Voice Within: The Ignatian Way to Discover God's Will, Mark E Thibodeaux, pp.152-212
[4] 1 Kings 19:11-13
[5] God's Voice Within: The Ignatian Way to Discover God's Will, Mark E Thibodeaux, pp.171
[6] Ibid, p.189
[7] Ibid, p.195
[8] Ibid, p.197
[9] Ibid, p 200
[10] Ibid. pp.209-212
[11] Ibid, p.160
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